6.16 Disagreeing without offending — Epoché
What you will be able to do Ask for someone's opinion and say that you agree, fully or in part. Disagree in degrees, from ce n'est pas faux to je ne suis pas d'accord , choosing the strength you mean. Soften a disagreement with respect, nuance and the subjunctive: je ne pense pas que ce soit … . Repair a conversation that has gone too far: je ne voulais pas te vexer . Sentences from this lesson, before the explanation. Read the French aloud; all of them come back below. French English Si vous voulez discuter, discutons ! [1] If you want to talk, let's talk. Si tu veux discuter, discutons ! [2] If you want to talk, let's talk. C'est exact, mais qu'est-ce que ça vous fait ? [3] That's right, but what's it to you? Avez-vous quelques bonnes idées ? [4] Have you got any good ideas? Je respecte votre point de vue. [5] I respect your views. C'est un point discutable. [6] It's a moot point. Prerequisites : 6.15 and 4.19 — this lesson follows 6.15 Conversation , and it uses the subjunctive after a negated opinion from 4.19 Grammar : je ne pense pas que ce soit vrai . The connectors of 4.26 Grammar , especially cependant , come back here; d'un autre côté is new in this lesson. French conversation enjoys disagreement. Where many English speakers avoid contradicting someone directly, a French dinner table often moves from one argument to the next, and saying je ne suis pas d'accord is not a social disaster. But there is an art to it. A French speaker who disagrees usually grants a point first, gives reasons, and keeps the tone light, and the language has a whole set of phrases for doing so. This lesson gives them, graded from the gentlest to the most direct. Who is speaking to whom The exchanges below are among friends in tu , where disagreement is freest. With vous , at work or with people you do not know well, use the softer end of the scale and add peut-être and the conditional: je ne serais pas tout à fait d'accord , I wouldn't quite agree . Disagreeing with a superior at work is possible in France, more than in many cultures, but it is done with arguments rather than with flat contradiction. The scale of disagreement French How strong Ce n'est pas faux. agreement with a reservation: that's not wrong C'est discutable. doubt: that's debatable Ce n'est pas tout à fait vrai. partial disagreement: not quite true Je ne pense pas que ce soit vrai. clear but polite disagreement, with the subjunctive Je ne suis pas d'accord. direct disagreement Absolument pas. flat refusal: no way The phrases in this table were written for this lesson as a scale; each of them also appears in the corpus. Choose the step that matches what you actually think, and add a reason. Exchange one — asking and agreeing Quel est ton point de vue ? [7] What's your take on this? Je suis d'accord avec toi. [8] I agree with you. Tu as raison. [9] You are right. Je partage votre point de vue. [10] We think alike. Quel est ton point de vue ? invites an opinion. Être d'accord avec is to agree with ; avoir raison , literally to have reason , is to be right , with avoir again where English has to be . Je partage votre point de vue , I share your point of view , is the formal way of agreeing, with vous , so it does not match the tu of the other lines; to a friend, je partage ton point de vue . Exchange two — yes, but Ce n'est pas faux. [11] That isn't wrong. Ce n'est pas tout à fait vrai. [12] That's not exactly true. D'un autre côté, il y a quelques désavantages. [13] On the other hand, there are some disadvantages. C'est discutable. [14] That is debatable. This is the French yes, but : grant the point ( ce n'est pas faux ), qualify it ( ce n'est pas tout à fait vrai ), and give the other side ( d'un autre côté ). It is the structure of the argument paragraph you will write in the next phase, spoken aloud. C'est discutable keeps the discussion open without taking a side. Exchange three — disagreeing clearly Je respecte tes idées. [15] I respect your ideas. Je ne suis pas d'accord. [16] I do not agree. Je ne pense pas que ce soit vrai. [17] I don't think that it's true. C'est mon point de vue. [18] That's my point of view. The respect comes first, je respecte tes idées , and then the disagreement. Je ne pense pas que ce soit vrai has the subjunctive soit after the negated verb of thinking, as 4.19 Grammar explained, and it is one of the most useful sentences in the course. C'est mon point de vue closes the point and claims it as an opinion rather than a fact. Exchange four — making peace Je ne voulais pas te vexer. [19] I didn't mean to upset you. Je comprends. [20] I understand. Je ne dis pas que c'est faux. [21] I'm not saying that's wrong. Discutons-en demain ! [22] Let's discuss this tomorrow. Je ne voulais pas te vexer uses vexer , to offend , from 5.9 Vocabulary , in the imperfect: the intention that was not there. Je ne dis pas que c'est faux , I'm not saying it's wrong , gives ground without giving up. Discutons-en demain ends the argument for tonight, with en standing for the topic: discuter de quelque chose , so en discuter . Taking your turn French discussions are fast, and speakers often begin before the other person has quite finished. To take your turn without seeming rude, start with a short word that signals agreement before the disagreement: oui, mais , d'accord, mais , je comprends, mais . To keep your turn when someone interrupts, attends or laisse-moi finir is accepted among friends. None of this is aggressive in French; it is how a lively conversation sounds. New words Six words for opinions. Word Meaning Notes le point de vue fr point of view Gender / part of speech masculine noun How English differs As in English. Son point de vue est étroit. [23] Her viewpoint is limited. l'avis fr opinion; notice Gender / part of speech masculine noun How English differs Not advice , which is un conseil . C'est mon avis. [24] This is my opinion. discutable fr debatable, questionable Gender / part of speech adjective How English diffe