6.13 Invitations — accepting and refusing — Epoché
What you will be able to do Invite someone and accept an invitation: Hast du am Samstag frei? Ich lade dich ein. Ja, gerne. Refuse politely and offer another time: Leider kann ich nicht kommen. Vielleicht ein andermal. Arrive as a guest and leave as one: the host's welcome, the meal, the thanks and the goodbye. Understand what Germans expect of a guest, from punctuality to what to bring, and the double meaning of Ich lade dich ein . Sentences from this lesson, before the explanation. Read the German aloud; all of them come back below. German English Es ist schade, dass du nicht mitkannst. [1] It's a shame that you can't go with us. Ich würde sehr gerne auf diese Reise gehen, aber leider kann ich nicht. [2] I'd love to go on that trip, but unfortunately I can't. Komm rein und fühl dich wie zu Hause. [3] Come on in and make yourself at home. Ich werde heute leider nicht mit dir zu Mittag essen können. [4] I'm afraid I won't be able to have lunch with you today. Am Samstag kann ich nicht gehen. [5] I can't go on Saturday. Wie schade, dass du schon gehen musst. [6] Too bad you have to leave already. Warum können Sie am Samstag nicht kommen? [7] Why can't you come on Saturday? Es ist sehr nett von dir, mich einzuladen. [8] It's very nice of you to invite me. Prerequisites : 6.12 — you need the times and days from 5.6 Vocabulary and 6.7 Conversation , the particles doch and mal from 2.21 Grammar , and the reflexive sich fühlen from 3.13 Verbs . Who is speaking to whom Friends, or colleagues who have moved to du . An invitation to someone's home is a step into private life, and in Germany it usually happens between people who already say du to each other. If the person inviting you uses Sie , as an older neighbour or a manager might, keep to Sie : the lines in this lesson change only in their pronouns and verb endings, as you can see in the two versions of Ich lade dich ein and Ich lade Sie ein . What a German host expects Be on time. For a dinner invitation, arrive at the stated time or a few minutes after. Arriving early is awkward, because the host may still be cooking; arriving more than a quarter of an hour late without a message is rude. A party with an open start is more relaxed. If you will be late, send a message. Bring something small. Flowers, a bottle of wine or chocolates are the usual gifts. For a party with friends, the host may ask everyone to bring food or drink, and the question Was soll ich mitbringen? is always welcome. Ich lade dich ein has two meanings. At home it means I'm inviting you . In a café or a restaurant it means I'm paying : the person who says it will pick up the bill. Germans often split the bill otherwise, so this sentence is a real offer, and you should thank them for it. Refusing is direct. A clear Leider kann ich nicht with a short reason is polite in German; vague answers that leave the host guessing are not. If you want to meet another time, say so: Vielleicht ein andermal. Exchange one — the invitation Hast du am Samstag frei? [9] Do you have Saturday off? Ich lade dich ein. [10] I'm inviting you. Das ist nett von dir. [11] It's kind of you. Ja, gerne. [12] Yes, with pleasure. Was soll ich mitbringen? [13] What should I bring? Bring Essen mit. [14] Bring food. Bis Samstag! [15] See you on Saturday. Exchange two — saying no Kommst du mit? [16] Will you come with us? Leider kann ich nicht kommen. [17] Unfortunately, I can't come. Vielleicht ein andermal. [18] Maybe some other time. Schade, dass du nicht mitkannst. [19] It's a pity that you won't be able to join us. leider , unfortunately , is the key word of every polite refusal. Anna's last line uses the separable mitkönnen , a colloquial short form of mitkommen können . Exchange three — arriving Komm rein! [20] Come on in! Schön, dass du kommen konntest. [21] Nice that you could come. Was möchtest du trinken? [22] What do you wish to drink? Guten Appetit! [23] Enjoy your meal! Wait for the host to start the meal. Guten Appetit! is said before eating, and everyone answers with the same words or with Danke, gleichfalls , thanks, you too . When glasses are raised, look each person in the eye as you touch glasses; this is taken seriously. Some households ask guests to take their shoes off at the door; if you see a row of shoes in the hall, follow suit, and ask if you are unsure. Exchange four — leaving Es ist schon spät. [24] It's already late. Ich muss jetzt gehen. [25] I have to leave now. Es war sehr nett von dir, mich einzuladen. [26] It was very kind of you to invite me. Danke für alles! [27] Thanks for everything! Bis dann! [28] See you around. Birthdays Birthdays have their own customs, and two of them surprise English speakers. First, in Germany the person whose birthday it is usually does the inviting and the paying: they bring cake to the office, invite friends for drinks, and pick up the bill. Second, never congratulate anyone before the day itself. Many Germans consider early birthday wishes bad luck, so wait until the day, or until midnight at a party the evening before. The two standard wishes are below; both work with du and Sie . Alles Gute zum Geburtstag! [29] Happy birthday to you! Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag! [30] Many happy returns! Ich werde diesen Oktober 30 Jahre alt sein. [31] I'll be 30 this October. Alles Gute is the shorter, everyday wish; Herzlichen Glückwunsch is a little warmer and appears on most cards. Both are accusatives with no verb, like the greetings in 4.11 Cases . A written card usually says one of them and adds zum Geburtstag with the dative. Word list Word (article, plural) Meaning Notes einladen de to invite; to treat, to pay for Gender / part of speech separable verb How English differs In a restaurant it means paying for someone. Ich lade Sie ein. [32] I'm inviting you. mitbringen de to bring along Gender / part of speech separable verb How English differs Mixed verb: brachte mit, mitgebracht . Bring Tee mit. [33] Bring tea. leider de unfortunately, I'm