Etiquette — Emily Post
You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org . If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook. Title : Etiquette Author : Emily Post Release date : December 10, 2004 [eBook #14314] Most recently updated: October 28, 2024 Language : English Other information and formats : www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/14314 Credits : Produced by Rick Niles, "Costello and Abbott" and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net *** START OF " [Page 373 .] ETIQUETTE IN SOCIETY, IN BUSINESS, IN POLITICS AND AT HOME BY EMILY POST (MRS. PRICE POST) Author of "Purple and Fine Linen," "The Title Market," "Woven in the Tapestry," "The Flight of a Moth," "Letters of a Worldly Godmother," etc., etc. Illustrated With Private Photographs And Facsimiles Of Social Forms Funk & Wagnalls Company New York And London 1922 Copyright, 1922, By Funk & Wagnalls Company [Printed in the United States of America] First Edition published in July 1922 Second Edition published in September, 1922 Copyright Under the Articles of the Copyright Convention of the Pan-American Republics and the United States, August 11, 1910. To You My Friends Whose Identity In These Pages Is Veiled In Fictional Disguise It Is But Fitting That I Dedicate This Book. CONTENTS Chapter Page Introduction ix I. What Is Best Society? 1 II. Introductions 4 III. Greetings 18 IV. Salutations Of Courtesy 22 V. On The Street And In Public 28 VI. At Public Gatherings 35 VII. Conversation 48 VIII. Words, Phrases And Pronunciation 58 IX. One's Position In The Community 65 X. Cards And Visits 73 XI. Invitations, Acceptances And Regrets 98 XII. The Well-Appointed House 131 XIII. Teas And Other Afternoon Parties 165 XIV. Formal Dinners 177 XV. Dinner-Giving With Limited Equipment 231 XVI. Luncheons, Breakfasts And Suppers 238 XVII. Balls And Dances 250 XVIII. The Débutante 276 XIX. The Chaperon And Other Conventions 288 XX. Engagements 299 XXI. First Preparations Before A Wedding 312 XXII. The Day Of The Wedding 345 XXIII. Christenings 380 XXIV. Funerals 387 XXV. The Country House And Its Hospitality 410 XXVI. The House Party In Camp 440 XXVII. Notes And Shorter Letters 448 XXVIII. Longer Letters 491 XXIX. The Fundamentals Of Good Behavior 506 XXX. Clubs And Club Etiquette 511 XXXI. Games And Sports 524 XXXII. Etiquette In Business And Politics 530 XXXIII. Dress 540 XXXIV. The Clothes Of A Gentleman 562 XXXV. The Kindergarten Of Etiquette 571 XXXVI. Every-Day Manners At Home 587 XXXVII. Traveling At Home And Abroad 593 XXXVIII. The Growth Of Good Taste In America 617 PHOTOGRAPHIC ILLUSTRATIONS A Bride's Bouquet Frontispiece A Gem Of A House facing page 131 The Personality Of A House facing page 132 Consideration For Servants facing page 157 The Afternoon Tea-Table facing page 171 A Formal Dinner facing page 177 Detail Of Place At A Formal Dinner facing page 179 A Dinner Service Without Silver facing page 228 An Informal Dinner facing page 246 The Most Elaborate Dinner Dance Ever Given In New York facing page 271 A Church Wedding facing page 354 A House Wedding facing page 374 The Ideal Guest Room facing page 414 A Breakfast Tray facing page 426 The Child At Table Between pages 574 and 575 INTRODUCTION MANNERS AND MORALS By Richard Duffy Many who scoff at a book of etiquette would be shocked to hear the least expression of levity touching the Ten Commandments. But the Commandments do not always prevent such virtuous scoffers from dealings with their neighbor of which no gentleman could be capable and retain his claim to the title. Though it may require ingenuity to reconcile their actions with the Decalogue—the ingenuity is always forthcoming. There is no intention in this remark to intimate that there is any higher rule of life than the Ten Commandments; only it is illuminating as showing the relationship between manners and morals, which is too often overlooked. The polished gentleman of sentimental fiction has so long served as the type of smooth and conscienceless depravity that urbanity of demeanor inspires distrust in ruder minds. On the other hand, the blunt, unpolished hero of melodrama and romantic fiction has lifted brusqueness and pushfulness to a pedestal not wholly merited. Consequently, the kinship between conduct that keeps us within the law and conduct that makes civilized life worthy to be called such, deserves to be noted with emphasis. The Chinese sage, Confucius, could not tolerate the suggestion that virtue is in itself enough without politeness, for he viewed them as inseparable and "saw courtesies as coming from the heart," maintaining that "when they are practised with all the heart, a moral elevation ensues." People who ridicule etiquette as a mass of trivial and arbitrary conventions, "extremely troublesome to those who practise them and insupportable to everybody else," seem to forget the long, slow progress of social intercourse in the upward climb of man from the primeval state. Conventions were established from the first to regulate the rights of the individual and the tribe. They were and are the rules of the game of life and must be followed if we would "play the game." Ages before man felt the need of indigestion remedies, he ate his food solitary and furtive in some corner, hoping he would not be espied by any stronger and hungrier fellow. It was a long, long time before the habit of eating in common was acquired; and it is obvious that the practise could not have been taken up with safety until the individuals of the race knew enough about one another and about the food resources to be sure that there was food sufficient for all. When eating in common became the vogue, table manners made their appearance and they have been waging an uphill struggle ever since. The custom of raising the hat when meeting an acquaintance derives from the