6.13 Making and refusing invitations — Epoché
What you will be able to do Invite a friend to dinner or for a drink, and make a suggestion with et si on . Accept an invitation, agree on a time and a place, and offer to bring something. Refuse an invitation without giving offence: thank, give a reason, and propose another time. Know what je t'invite commits you to: paying. Sentences from this lesson, before the explanation. Read the French aloud; all of them come back below. French English Joyeux anniversaire de mariage. [1] Happy wedding anniversary. C'est très gentil à vous de m'inviter à votre fête d'anniversaire. [2] It's very kind of you to invite me to your birthday party. Je veux le partager avec vous. [3] I want to share it with you. Vous n'êtes plus en prise avec la réalité. [4] You're out of touch with reality. On dirait que vous voulez dire quelque chose. [5] It looks like you want to say something. Je ne peux pas partager cette information avec vous. [6] I can't share that information with you. Je sais que vous voulez probablement vous retrouver seule alors je vais partir. [7] I know you probably want to be alone, so I'll leave. Prerequisites : 6.12 — this lesson follows 6.12 Conversation . You need the conditional of 4.15 Grammar , which carries most of the politeness of an invitation, and the suggestion with et si and the imperfect from 4.16 Grammar . Invitations are where the grammar of the phase becomes social skill. To invite someone, French uses the conditional ( ça te dirait de … ), a question with vouloir , or the suggestion et si on … with the imperfect. To refuse, it uses a formula that English speakers recognise but often skip: a thank-you, a reason, and a counter-proposal. A bare non to an invitation sounds much ruder in French than no thanks does in English. This lesson gives the four exchanges you need, built from corpus sentences. Who is speaking to whom Between friends, invitations are in tu , and informal phrases like boire un verre , to have a drink , or boire un coup , more informal still, are normal. To a colleague, or to a neighbour you do not know well, use vous and the more formal verbs: voulez-vous déjeuner ? rather than ça te dit ? . An invitation to someone's home, un dîner chez quelqu'un , is a mark of friendship in France and less frequent than in some English-speaking countries; it should be accepted warmly or refused with care. Inviting in French Je t'invite means I am paying. In a restaurant or a bar, the person who says je t'invite or je vous invite pays the bill; the corpus translates it as the drink is on me , and after a meal it means it's on me . If you invite someone to eat out, be ready to pay. Splitting the bill is common among young people and called partager l'addition . Times are approximate, but not too approximate. For a dinner at someone's home, arriving ten or fifteen minutes after the time given is polite; arriving early is not. For a meeting in a bar or at the cinema, arrive on time. Answering by message. Many invitations now arrive by text. The replies are short and use the set phrases of 5.14 Vocabulary : ça marche to accept a time, ça te dit ? to propose one, à plus to sign off. A refusal by message still needs its three steps, even if each is only a few words: merci , a reason, and another day. Bring something. A guest brings a bottle of wine, flowers or something from a good bakery. Asking qu'est-ce que j'apporte ? is normal, and the answer is usually rien , which you should not take literally. Exchange one — an invitation to dinner Ça te dirait de dîner avec moi ? [8] Would you like to have dinner with me? Volontiers, pourquoi pas ? [9] Sure, why not? À quelle heure ? [10] At what time? Je passe te prendre à huit heures. [11] I'll pick you up at eight. Que devrais-je apporter ? [12] What should I bring? J'apporte du vin. [13] I'm bringing wine. Ça te dirait de … , literally would it say to you to … , is the softest invitation, with the conditional of dire . Volontiers , from 4.15 Grammar , is the classic acceptance. Je passe te prendre is I'll come and pick you up : passer is to drop by, prendre to collect. Exchange two — a suggestion between friends Et si on sortait dîner ? [14] How about going out for dinner? Bonne idée ! [15] Good idea! Retrouvons-nous devant le théâtre. [16] Let's meet in front of the theater. On se retrouve à 15h. [17] We'll meet at 3:00 p.m. Je t'invite. [18] The drink is on me. Et si on sortait dîner ? is the suggestion with et si and the imperfect from 4.16 Grammar : how about going out for dinner? Retrouvons-nous and on se retrouve both use se retrouver , to meet up , the everyday verb for an arranged meeting. The corpus lines are separate sentences, so the time does not fit a dinner: 15h , quinze heures , is three in the afternoon. Times are often given in the twenty-four-hour clock, even in conversation, though à huit heures du soir is just as common. Exchange three — refusing politely Tu veux boire un verre ? [19] Do you want to have a drink? C'est très gentil. [20] That's very kind. Je suis déjà pris. [21] I have a previous engagement. Pourquoi pas demain ? [22] Why not tomorrow? Je te tiens au courant. [23] I'll keep you updated. This is the model refusal: thanks ( c'est très gentil ), a reason ( je suis déjà pris , I already have plans ), and a counter-proposal ( pourquoi pas demain ? ). Pris here means taken , already committed; a woman says je suis déjà prise . Without the counter-proposal, the refusal can sound final. Exchange four — a formal invitation Voulez-vous déjeuner ? [24] Do you want to get some lunch? C'est très gentil, merci. [25] That's very kind, thank you. Désolé, je dois partir. [26] I'm sorry I have to go. La prochaine fois. [27] Next time. With vous , the same three steps apply, more briefly. Désolé, je dois partir gives the reason. To accept instead, the formal answer is avec plaisir , which the corpus glosses as you're welcome in its other use: as a reply to thanks, it means my pleasure . New words Six words for invi