Frost's Laws and By-Laws of American Society — Sarah Annie Frost
, by S. Annie Frost You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org . If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook. Title : Frost's Laws and By-Laws of American Society Author : S. Annie Frost Release date : July 1, 2005 [eBook #8467] Most recently updated: December 26, 2020 Language : English Other information and formats : www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/8467 Credits : Produced by Holly Ingraham *** START OF FROST'S LAWS AND BY-LAWS OF AMERICAN SOCIETY A CONDENSED BUT THOROUGH TREATISE ON ETIQUETTE AND ITS USAGES IN AMERICA, CONTAINING PLAIN AND RELIABLE DIRECTIONS FOR DEPORTMENT IN EVERY SITUATION IN LIFE ON THE FOLLOWING SUBJECTS: Letters of Introduction, Salutes and Salutations Calls, Conversation, Invitations, Dinner Company, Balls, Morning and Evening Parties, Visiting, Street Etiquette, Riding and Driving, Travelling, Etiquette in Church, Etiquette for Places of Amusement, Servants, Hotel Etiquette, Etiquette at Weddings, Baptisms and Funerals. Etiquette with Children and at the Card Table, Visiting Cards, Lettter-Writing, The Lady's Toilet, The Gentleman's Toilet, BESIDES ONE HUNDRED UNCLASSIFIED LAWS APPLICABLE TO ALL OCCASIONS By S. A. FROST, AUTHOR OF "FROST'S LETTER-WRITER," ETC. 1869 PREFACE. For a long time the little book which we now offer to the public has been wanted in the library of the fashionable world; the customs, the etiquette, the different obligations which society imposes upon those who live in its midst, change frequently, and although the general principles are the same, although politeness and civility are of all epoques and times, nevertheless there are few persons so entirely at home in all the forms that they do not on some occasion feel hesitation as to the proper manner of conducting themselves. Indeed, besides the broader and more essential rules of politeness, there are certain conventionalities adopted by good society, which, sanctioned by custom and absolute obligation, cannot, without some good reason, be neglected by the truly polite gentleman or lady. Every day the question is raised whether such and such a custom is adopted, received, and proper; there will constantly arise a doubt about the details of some ceremony, the proper hour for some entertainment, the true etiquette for some occasion. At such a time, there is a regret felt that there is not at hand, in one's own library, a safe guide, an experienced counsellor, who will answer such questions, so trifling in appearance, so important in reality. A breach of etiquette, an involuntarily omission of some point of politeness, may often have a serious influence upon the future of the perpetrator. None of these little details are to be scorned they have each and every one a value. It is to meet the want already mentioned that this little volume has been prepared. It makes no claim to originality; but its aim is to be perfectly reliable. English, French, and American authorities of weight have been consulted, and nothing admitted that was not sanctioned by experience and the customs of the best society. Books, it is very true, have been already written upon this subject; but they are for the most part filled with useless details, and often do not contain what is of most importance. The aim of the Editor of the present work has been to avoid both extremes, to select only what was useful, reliable, and well established, and to reject only what was valueless or mere repetition. The subjects treated are all classed that they may have easy reference, and admit of consultation at a moment's notice. The little book goes forth with one pretension only, one ambition alone—to be useful. CONTENTS. Etiquette and Its Uses Introductions Letters of Introduction Salutes and Salutations Calls Conversation Invitations Dinner Company Balls Morning and Evening Parties Visiting Street Etiquette Riding and Driving Travelling Etiquette In Church Etiquette For Places of Amusemfent Servants Hotel Etiquette Wedding Etiquette Etiquette For Baptisms Etiquette For Funerals Etiquette of the Studio Table Etiquette Etiquette With Children Games With Cards Visiting Cards Letter Writing The Lady's Toilet The Gentleman's Toilet Miscellaneous —- THE LAWS AND BY-LAWS OF AMERICAN SOCIETY. ETIQUETTE AND ITS USES. THERE are a great many people, in other respects perfectly estimable (which makes the complaint against them the more grievous) who maintain that the laws of nature are the only laws of binding force among the units which compose society. They do not assert their doctrine in so many words, but practically they avow it, and they are not slow to express their contempt for the "ridiculous etiquette" which is declared by their opponents to be essential to the well being of society. These people are probably a law to themselves in such matters; they obey in their rules of conduct those instincts of propriety and good manners which were implanted in them at their birth, and cultivated probably by their education, and therefore they have small need to study especially how to conduct themselves in their intercourse with society. In such cases, their opposition to a written code of manners is rather an affair of theory than of practice, and it seems rather absurd that they should so emphatically denounce the system which they themselves, by example rather than precept, thoroughly carry out. They would be probably as averse to committing any act of rudeness, or any breach of politeness as the warmest admirer of the primitive life of the Indian would be to living himself in a dirty tent, and eating his food, half cooked, on a forked-stick over a camp fire. For such people this little code of the "Laws and By-Laws of American Society" is not written. There are others who are equally fierce in their denunciations of the ridiculous etiquette above mentio