6.18 Disagreeing without offending — Epoché
What you will be able to do Disagree in German at the right strength: from Da bin ich mir nicht sicher to Das stimmt nicht . Show that you have understood before you object: Ich verstehe, was du meinst. Das ist ein wichtiger Punkt. Disagree politely with a superior or a stranger using Sie : Ich bin anderer Ansicht. Ich glaube, Sie irren sich. Close a disagreement: Einverstanden, aber … Wir sind uns einig, dass wir uns uneinig sind. Sentences from this lesson, before the explanation. Read the German aloud; all of them come back below. German English Du liegst teilweise richtig. [1] You're partially correct. Mein Schwager war anderer Ansicht. [2] My brother-in-law was of a different opinion. Meinst du denn nicht, dass es besser wäre, es hinter dich zu bringen? [3] Don't you think you'd better do it and have it over with? Du irrst dich, wenn du denkst, dass er falsch liegt. [4] You are mistaken if you think he is wrong. Meinst du denn nicht, dass du bereits genug getan hast? [5] Don't you think that you've done enough? Prerequisites : 6.17 — you need the opinion phrases from 6.17 Conversation , the subjunctive of politeness from 2.25 Grammar , and the paired conjunctions zwar … aber from 2.31 Grammar . Who is speaking to whom Two colleagues, Anna and Ben, who say du to each other, discuss a plan at work; later, in a meeting, Frau Keller and Herr Wagner, who say Sie , disagree about the same plan. The lesson contrasts the two registers. Both are polite by German standards. To an English ear, both may sound surprisingly direct. Directness in German German separates the person from the opinion. In English-speaking cultures, especially in Britain, disagreement is often wrapped in several layers of softening: I see what you mean, but I wonder whether perhaps … . German speakers also soften, but much less, because a clear contradiction of an opinion is not felt as an attack on the person. Das stimmt nicht , that's not true , can be said in a friendly meeting without offence. English speakers who translate their own habits word for word can sound evasive in German; German speakers who translate theirs into English can sound rude. A scale of disagreement. From soft to hard: Da bin ich mir nicht sicher ( I'm not sure about that ), Das stimmt nicht ganz ( that's not quite right ), Ich bin anderer Meinung ( I see it differently ), Das stimmt nicht ( that's not true ), Du irrst dich ( you're wrong ). With Sie , add Ich glaube or Entschuldigung, aber in front, and the hardest forms become acceptable even towards a superior. The real politeness is listening. What German speakers value is not softening but taking the other person's argument seriously. Ich verstehe, was du meinst and Das ist ein wichtiger Punkt are the two most effective sentences in this lesson: say one of them before your objection, then give a reason. A disagreement with a reason is respectful; a vague softening without one can seem like you are hiding your opinion. Meetings. German workplaces often discuss a question openly before deciding, and a junior colleague may contradict a senior one. Decisions, once made, are expected to hold. If you agreed to a plan in a meeting, raising the same objection again later is less welcome than objecting clearly at the time. Exchange one — a soft start Bist du anderer Meinung? [6] Do you disagree? Ich verstehe, was du meinst. Da bin ich mir nicht sicher. [7] Das stimmt nicht ganz. [8] I see what you mean. I'm not sure about that. That isn't exactly true. Ben first shows that he has understood, then starts at the soft end of the scale and moves one step up. nicht ganz , not quite , is the most useful softener in German: it contradicts without denying everything. Exchange two — weighing the argument Das ist ein wichtiger Punkt. [9] This is an important point. Ich bin nicht überzeugt. [10] I'm not convinced. Ich glaube nicht, dass das stimmt. [11] I don't believe this is true. Ich glaube nicht, dass das stimmt puts the negation on glauben , not on stimmen , exactly as English I don't believe … does. Exchange three — in a meeting, with Sie Sind Sie anderer Ansicht? [12] Do you disagree? Ich bin anderer Ansicht. [13] I beg to differ. Das ist meine Ansicht. [14] That's my point of view. Ich glaube, Sie irren sich. [15] I believe you are mistaken. anderer Ansicht and anderer Meinung are genitive phrases, of another opinion , and mean the same thing. Ich glaube, Sie irren sich is firm but polite: the opinion is contradicted, the person is addressed with full respect. Exchange four — closing the disagreement Du hast recht, denke ich. [16] You're right, I think. Sie hat teilweise recht. [17] She's partly right. Einverstanden, aber nur unter einer Bedingung. [18] Agreed, but only on one condition. Wir sind uns einig, dass wir uns uneinig sind. [19] We agree to disagree. Anna answers about Frau Keller from the meeting: Sie hat teilweise recht , she is partly right . The last sentence is a German version of the English agree to disagree , built with einig and uneinig . Disagreeing well, step by step Use a three-step pattern. First, show that you have understood: Ich verstehe, was du meinst or Das ist ein wichtiger Punkt . Second, state your view at the right strength: Das stimmt nicht ganz , Ich bin anderer Meinung . Third, give a reason, introduced with weil or denn , or with zwar … aber : Das ist zwar teurer, aber besser. If the other person makes a good point, say so: Gutes Argument or Du hast teilweise recht . Then you can either agree with a condition, Einverstanden, aber nur unter einer Bedingung , or end the discussion amicably. This pattern works in German offices, at German dinner tables, and in the oral parts of German exams. Word list Word (article, plural) Meaning Notes der Standpunkt（-e） de point of view, standpoint Gender / part of speech masculine noun How English differs The same image as English standpoint . Jeder hat seinen eigenen Standpunkt. [20] Everyone has their own point of view. die Ansi